Dear Sir Wellington,  

I did it at last. I played doggy dead. I learned how to do this as a puppy... I had a good upbringing . I learned the 10 commandments for all dogs.  So I finally got revenge on the lady. So much fun. I was brilliant .

I just laid on my side and didn't move.  I even slowed down my breath which I learned as a pup while doing doggy yoga. I timed it perfectly before the lady came home...I heard her open the door and call for me and then she saw me and started screaming and rushed me to the vet as an emergency.

She didn't even say hello to the dingaling or Fart Face or the blimp.

Well the doctor saw me immediately and told the lady that I was alive but probably suffering from deep depression. He said I needed peace and quiet and lots of attention and cuddling...I kept pretending to act very weak and the doctor and the lady fell for it..I think I should be an actress in my next life. On the way home the lady took me to the doggy store and bought me a new fluffy bed and treats that I love. I felt like jumping for joy but I controlled myself.  I kept up the pretense for a few days.

You see, Sir Wellington, its necessary to pretend so we get what we want. .It's not like I am hurting anyone.. .I think I should have a class for the other dogs in the park..I will call it  How to Survive life on Earth. I will keep this up for a few days so I make a deep impression on the lady so she finally sees my worth. Then I will miraculously recover.    

Get your copy of the adventures of Spice the Dog here - https://www.amazon.com/Secret-letters-Spice-York-City/dp/1927538521/r