Dear Sir Wellington,

I have decided to get a job.!!  I know that sounds strange but I feel I have a calling. My friend works at the front desk in my building and she loves it. .She is also a food taster for all the food deliveries so she makes sure the tailless ones don't get sick.  I have a great sniffer technique so I know I will excel . My friend put in a good bark request for me so now I am at my first day of work.. So far I have sniffed packages,  tasted food, and have gotten a lot of admiration  I have decided to call myself Door Detective Doggie...I sit on the desk and am very alert but am given naps so i don't get stressed out .I like being part of an intelligent team and far away from Amber Fart Face , Bubble the Blimp and Dingaling Meow.  I think the lady is happy about this cause she gave me a new coat and boots to match. I really can't tell what colors they are since you know we cant see colors but I am sure its stylish.,.cause the tailless ones like to touch it  .Also, now the lady can spend more time with her useless boyfriend . I won't have to be near them and won't have to beg for food from them, which is degrading. I will get enough food at my job.I always demanded that the lady give me half her food...hahaha  now she will gain weight cause she will have to eat it all by herself.  The boyfriend is already overweight. Maybe he will burst and pop but i hope he doesn't do that in front of her...So gross .